Passing and stealth: two words to lose? Part one

October 19 2009, 5:38am

While "passing" and "stealth" are commonly used words in the trans vocabulary, I kind of wish they would go away. They don't offend me--I just question their benefits, and I think that the notions can hurt us."Passing" seems to be used more at the beginning of transition (I used it myself) in order to measure progress--I'm "passing" 50 percent of the time, I'm "passing" 75 percent of the time. Many people, eventually, come to the point of "passing" 100 percent of the time--but what are they "passing" as?Are these people not who they say they are? "Passing" seems to indicate as much--a falsehood or an attempt to be something that you are not. If a transsexual person transitions from female to male or vice versa, changes his or her paperwork, and lives in the gender that matches his or her identity, is that person not then a man or a woman--even if the person chooses to use the descriptor "trans"?If people call me "sir," are they wrong? Am I just "passing" for who I say I am? And if I'm not who I say I am, then who am I? This is not an existentialist question designed to keep us up at night. The word "passing" serves a purpose, but it can also help us internalize the notion that we're not, somehow, "real." And it can convey that same message to others.And what about those who don't "pass"--ever? What about those people who are always and immediately recognized as trans? If they don't "pass," does this mean that they are not legitimate?If we use "passing" as a measure of transition "success," then we leave out an entire group of people whose identification is just as real as anyone else's, but who are unable to conform to society's notions of male and female, man and woman, and so are always standing on the perimeter of legitimacy.In my mind, "passing" as a man or a woman, rather than being one, indicates a deception. Again, I understand the purpose, but I also think that the word, and the notion, can be damaging to us. If we live our lives believing that we are "passing," then we can never fully embrace who we really are.Next time: stealth (although you know what I'm going to say).What do you think?